When is Enough...ENOUGH?!?!?!

I did not ever set out to be a marathoner. When I began my running journey six years ago, I just wanted to be able to have the choice to move! I had three small children and my hubs worked long shifts and I needed a time when I could focus on something for me. As I started training for that first 10k (race for the taste in Epcot- I miss that race!) my mileage increased and the love remained. Since I had momentum on my side, I just kept training and next came the Princess Half (who doesn't want to be a princess!!) I did A LOT of half marathons and I still LOVE this distance. It is extremely doable for EVERYONE and the feeling of accomplishment is amazing. I don't exactly remember when I decided that I wanted to do a marathon - just once :) I trained religiously and I had a lot of time to do it! I could switch my long runs up and do them on the days hubs was on shift but it still required a lot of sacrificed time with my family and it did cause conflict at home. In my mind I had a goal and even going on a cruise in the middle of training would not stop to long run! The WDW marathon came and went, I had the best first marathon experience you could probably have. I met my goal time, I had so much FUN, and I started contemplating the next year. When RunDisney announced the inaugural Dooey Challenge I WAS IN!!

And then...We moved.

Life as I had previously known it was completely different. We lived in a town where I knew no one, my hubs now was working a 8-5 job 5 days a week. My youngest who I had been planning on being in VPK no longer had that option because schools here were different (half day kindergarten-WHAT?!??) But I had a goal to focus on and I think that Dopey Training got me through the hardest 4 months to date. But at what cost? Did I love going and meeting up with some AMAZING people? Yes! Did I run in races and prove to myself that my body could run 48.6 miles in 4 days with 3 a.m. wakeup calls? Yes. Did I miss my family terribly? And that is the one that was hardest to take. Yes, I had a major accomplishment for me, but they weren't able to be there!

At what point do you say enough is enough??

I have friends who travel all around the country running races and I think that is awesome, I do, but it just isn't something that works for my situation. Could I run a marathon again? I am sure I can but the question I have been struggling with is is it worth it to me- right now?? I will admit, my heart just isn't in it. The reason I want to go and run is to see my friends and it's a good reason but is it a good enough reason to only be half present with my family over the next month when we have a lot planned! This may sound crazy but my mind has a hard time sharing the focus! I tend to put the blinders on and even though I know I do this, it's not something I can just turn off.
I feel it is important as a mom to have something that is just for you but I don't think that I should be spending hours (3-4) doing it anymore. I want to be HERE for my hubs and kids. I want to build the life for myself where fitness is my passion and not just running as many races as I can because I can. I want to put the games of my kids before the miles I feel like I have to do!!!

I want to help OTHERS reach their goals and be present with my family. It's not just about running races and having a good time for me anymore. It's about creating the life I want my kids to see! I want them to know that mommy works hard but not at their expense. Running a race just because I can isn't the reason to do it anymore (and neither is a shiny medal!). It's time for me to pay it forward and it starts for me at home. 

I still love to run... The feeling of accomplishment for me is still there and the joy is as unequaled .

BUT

When faced with the two paths, I think I'm going to take the one less travelled and I think it will make all the difference!