I have been a sappy mess today! It's the same feeling I had after my first half marathon and after I completed the Dopey Challenge. It's that sense that I completed something that at one point in time I thought was impossible.
The changes in my body are subtle compared to the changes to my mind and to my spirit. When I finished Dopey in January 2014, I was burned out! I had done something that few other people could say that had done and my body didn't want to do it again. I was depressed and I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't continue running crazy amounts of miles for crazy amounts of hours per week. My family needed my time and I felt guilty giving that time to myself. Beachbody and Shaun T literally saved me! That sound dramatic even to me but it is so true. I had never done an at home program (except for my treadmill 😬) and I had never consistently cross trained. I had gotten a challenge pack with FocusT25 and it sat in that box for at least six months until that day when I just didn't want to run anymore but I needed to do something. I'm giving you a little of my backstory so please bear with me.
FocusT25 gave me results that I had never seen before and muscles in my legs that I didn't even know I needed to help me run faster. It also showed me that there was another way.
Fast forward to the release of Insanity Max:30. The name insanity scared the crap out of me! I had seen the original version and my mind said "oh no - NOT ME!" but this was a shorter version right? It was only 30 minutes and I was "allowed" to take breaks. I had learned focus and now I needed to gain my power. So, I ordered it and couldn't wait to get started.
From Day 1, Shaun tells you that he believes in you and that you CAN do it and somewhere around day 10 you start believing that you just might be able to do this! You keep pushing play, you drink your Shakeology, and you SEE your body transforming. I told a friend of mine that I was extremely glad that I had the photos to see my transformation because that stupid scale DID NOT MOVE and for the first time in my life it doesn't matter. That number that I used to define myself by for so long, it's just that- a number. That number doesn't show how many push-ups I can do or how I am able to do tuck jumps, it doesn't show the confidence I have gained or the joy I have for sharing my story of hope with others. That number means nothing!
I was able to finish month 1 feeling on top of the world and then I pushed play on month 2! To say that I felt a bit defeated can't even express my feelings enough. The entire time Shaun was beating my body down though he was lifting my spirit up. He kept telling me that I could do it and you know what... I DID! I might have "maxed out" but that was the whole point right? Learning to see your limits and trying to overcome them.
I will probably never meet Shaun but I want to be him for someone. I want to be able to help people believe that even if it's hard, they can get through. He didn't just give me a six pack (which I won't be giving back) but he gave me peace. He gave me strength and the courage to step out of hiding in the background. I couldn't say thank you enough to him because as cheesy as it sounds, my life isn't the same anymore.
I think that we all are trying to live as best as we can and for those 30 minutes every day, I could just be me- Jama, not a mom or a wife, I could be the athlete that I always knew I could be but that I never knew I was.
If you are scared to fail... don't be. You will fail, it's a guarantee but through the failure you will see who you we always meant to be! So thank you Shaun for showing me who I could become and for always believing in me- even though we may never meet you have changed me and I am eternally grateful!
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